


Mean and Green

by AGirlNamedEd



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Other, Tumblr Prompt, fan baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:14:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 16,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGirlNamedEd/pseuds/AGirlNamedEd
Summary: All the Piccolo/Nail prompts I've posted over on Tumblr over the years. Mostly fluff and get-togethers with a little bit of sex randomly thrown in somewhere.





	1. Adorable

**Author's Note:**

> ~~Mean and Green is my ship tag for these two on Tumblr I'm not original~~
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> Requested by anonymous: "100 (I'm sorry, but that was adorable) for Piccolo&Nail, for the prompt thing? If you feel like it, of course!!"

Nail was starting to become a problem.

When he’d first defused with Piccolo, the biggest problem had been Piccolo getting used to having him around. Now the biggest problem was that he was _too_ used to having him around. They’d become almost more inseparable than then were when they were fused. And because of that, he’d started imagining that he’d fallen in love with Nail, of all things.

“Shape up,” Piccolo told himself. “You _don’t_ have those feelings for Nail. You’re imagining them.” He glared at his reflection in the water. “You will _stop_ needing to be with him at least half of he time. You will _not_ be distracted by how good he looks, even if his chest is…and those arms and…” He trailed off, then forcefully shook his head. “Stop that! You aren’t in love with Nail, you can’t be, and it needs to stop _now_.”

An all too familiar ki made itself known behind him and he stiffened. “But if you’re not in love with me,” Nail’s voice said, snaking his arms around Piccolo’s waist and resting his chin on his shoulder, “what am I supposed to do with all of my feelings?”

Piccolo swallowed, suddenly torn between leaning into Nail’s hold and bolting in the opposite direction. “S…stuff them up your ass.” Fuck, he’d stuttered. Nail was going to–yep, he was laughing. “Stop that.”

“I’m sorry,” Nail chuckled, “but that was adorable.” He pressed the side of his face into Piccolo’s collar. “So do you have ‘those feelings’ for me or not?”

He squirmed out of Nail’s grip and turned to face him, arms folded to keep his fingers from twitching out of nerves. “And what if I don’t?”

Nail shrugged. “Then we forget this conversation ever happened and I go back to pining and checking out your ass when we spar.”

Piccolo blushed, hating himself for doing so. “And if I do?” he finally asked.

The smile Nail gave him was actual, literal sunshine, it had to be, it was the only explanation for how _warm_ it made Piccolo. “Oh,” Piccolo said.

Nail snorted. “Oh indeed.” And he moved forward to press their lips together.


	2. Poster War (college AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by greentrickster: "I caught you covering up my flyer with your less important flyer when there was plenty of room on that other bulletin board and I’m going to switch it when you walk away (and suddenly there was a war). - Piccolo/Nail"
> 
> (from a list of college AU prompts)

Piccolo was not obsessed with his poster. He wasn’t. He was obsessed with , but not with the poster itself. Where did that douchecanoe come off covering the karate class advertisement with a fucking _public service announcement_? Who even _read_ PSA posters? Piccolo sure didn’t.

And there was no need to cover the (more important) poster anyway. There was plenty of space on the bulletin board! Or at least there had been before _dipshit_ decided his precious little PSA had to be _twice_ the size of everything else on the board! Oh wow, so special, fuck that guy.

He didn’t just cover up the corner, either, no, he had to cover _half the poster_. There wasn’t even anything printed on the part covering Piccolo’s poster, it was just blank orange space. So Piccolo had retaliated by moving his poster so it was on top, just taking up the blank space so you could see all the information on Piccolo’s poster. That was all.

And he’d had to do it _six times_ in the last two days, because every time he checked to see if anyone had taken one of the tearaway information strips, he (Piccolo assumed the PSA dickwad was male) had covered it up again.

What a fucktrumpet.

As he reached the bulletin board, he realized there was someone standing in front of it–not just any someone, a Namekian like him. He was standing a little ways back, reading one of the flyers. Piccolo’s eyes trailed over his exposed chest briefly before he forced them away and turned to more important matters. Whoever this Namekian was, he may have been attractive, but he wasn’t why Piccolo was here.

Sure enough, the corner of the poster was overtop of his, and was it his imagination or was it covering even _more_ of it now?

“Can’t fucking believe this,” he muttered, pushing in front of the Namekian and starting to remove some of the thumbtacks.

“Oh, so it’s _you_.”

Piccolo turned, confused, to the Namekian behind him. While he’d had a more passive look on his face before, now he looked mildly annoyed. “What?” Piccolo asked eloquently. “Some asshat keeps burying my poster with theirs. I’m just–”

“Covering up a very important announcement is what you’re doing,” he snapped. “Did you even _read_ the poster?”

Piccolo rolled his eyes. “ _Yes_ , I read the poster, and I don’t see why a poster about a planned power outage in the residence next Tuesday needs to cover half of another poster.”

He tapped his name badge and Piccolo saw that he worked for the building. Apparently he was named Nail. What completely useless information that he would immediately forget about. “Residence policy. All posters about things happening involving public safety need to be unobstructed entirely, and this is the only way that can happen right now.”

“It’s _one corner_. You’re being unreasonable.”

“Building policy.” Nail shrugged. “Sorry, that’s just the way it is. You don’t like it, take it up with the super.” And he left, and Piccolo did not stare at his back muscles under his shirt as he went.

He did, however, scowl and turn back to the board. Well. If that was the way things were going to be.

Piccolo took his poster down off the board, glanced around to make sure no one was around, and tacked it back up–right in the middle of the PSA poster. Then he turned and marched towards the stairs.

This meant _war_.


	3. Back From the Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "*whispers* piccolonail 36 (returned from the dead)"

Air.

There was air in his lungs again. Nail coughed and choked from the unfamiliar feeling. He’d…he’d died. He rubbed his hands over his face with a groan. He should’ve been more careful, should’ve remembered he wasn’t the strongest around anymore. But he was–he couldn’t just _stand_ there and let Piccolo get hurt, and as he fell he hardly felt any pain, just numbness and a sense of satisfaction that he’d managed to keep Piccolo alive…

“You.”

Nail looked up, still a little bleary and woozy. Piccolo’s face swam into his vision, concerned and angry and terrified and relieved all at once. “What the _hell_ were you thinking?” he demanded, crouching next to where Nail lay. He hauled Nail to his feet, sending his head spinning again. “If you ever pull a stunt like that again I–I won’t wait for the Dragon Balls to fix it, I’ll drag you out of the afterlife myself, you got that?”

He didn’t know what came over him–maybe he was still just dizzy and disoriented from the shock of returning to life. But all he could do–the only reaction he could have–was smile fondly at Piccolo and press their foreheads together. “Got it,” he mumbled,” wrapping his arms around Piccolo’s neck and letting his antennae brush Piccolo’s in a chaste kiss.

Piccolo jerked back, eyes wide, and Nail buried his face in Piccolo’s collar. Dying took a lot out of you, apparently–all he wanted to do was sleep. “I–you–what–” Piccolo stammered. “What the hell was that?”

“It was a kiss,” Nail said, voice muffled by Piccolo’s collar. He squeezed Piccolo tighter. “I wasn’t able to tell you before, but I told myself that if I came back I’d tell you.”

Slowly, gently, carefully, Piccolo’s hands rested on the small of Nail’s back. “Tell me what?”

Nail moved up for another kiss. “I think you know.”


	4. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "The writing prompt of Nail & piccolo was amazing. Please do more. Something if piccolo learns about namekians anatomy from Nail after they start their relationship. Nail notice piccolo has something for kids and Nail explains how they can make one"

“You sure like kids, don’t you.”

It wasn’t a question, no matter how it was phrased. Piccolo turned from watching Gohan playing tag with his brother to scowl at Nail next to him. “I don’t ‘like’ children,” he retorted. “They, for some reason, like me.”

Nail’s face told Piccolo that he didn’t believe him for a second. “So you don’t like children.”

“No.”

“Not even a little bit.”

“ _No_.”

“Hm. My mistake.” Nail smiled. “I could have sworn you looked after Gohan and his brother like they were your own brood. But clearly I was wrong.”

Piccolo rolled his eyes. He’d known his partner long enough to know when he was just trying to rile him up. Nail took an almost sadistic pleasure in embarrassing Piccolo some days. “What exactly are you trying to say, Nail?” he asked. “Enough of your roundabouts. Speak plainly, or don’t speak at all.”

“Words to live by,” Nail murmured. He slipped his hand into Piccolo’s, and it didn’t matter that they’d been together for several months now, it was still a new sensation that sent a thrill down Piccolo’s spine. “I simply thought, since you love children so much…would you ever consider some of our own?”

Piccolo’s throat constricted. It wasn’t just the suggestion of his own biological kin—although the thought _had_ crossed his mind more than once. It was the word “our.” The implication that the child, or possibly children, would be _theirs_ —both his and Nail’s. “I don’t think that’s how our bodies work,” he finally said. He kept his eyes glued forward, fixed on Goten and Gohan. If he looked at Nail he’d do something stupid or promise something embarrassing.

“Of course it is; what are you talking about?” Nail frowned confusedly at him. “We can have a child that is ours biologically. Much easier than humans or Saiyans can.”

Now Piccolo did look at him. “Are you serious?”

“I’m always serious. Look, you remember what I said the first time I kissed you?”

Piccolo felt his face heat and looked back towards the boys. “That…that we kiss with our antennae because mouths are for…other things.”

“Well, those ‘other things’ are sex,” Nail said matter-of-factly. “Also talking and drinking, but in this case I’m talking about sex.” He put a hand on Piccolo’s shoulder. “Yes, you can create a baby by yourself. Fairly easily, in fact. But if we were to decide we wanted a child of our biology—a child of Piccolo and Nail—it wouldn’t be hard to do.”

Thoughts swirled in Piccolo’s head. Sex? A child? With Nail? Was he even ready for that? Would Gohan be alright with it? He wouldn’t feel like Piccolo was trying to replace him, would he? How would sex with Nail even work? Piccolo only scarcely understood how sex between humans worked, and even then it was only because Gohan had once brought his biology homework to the Lookout.

“I won’t make you decide right now.” Nail’s hand slid from Piccolo’s shoulder to his hand and grasped it tight. “But think about it. I’d like to. With you.” When Piccolo looked at him, he was the one staring out at the boys instead of at his partner.

Piccolo hated his feelings. More often than not he couldn’t recognise them well enough to act on them, so he did his best to ignore them. But now…he was excited by Nail’s proposal, fascinated by the possibilities it opened up.

“If,” he said carefully, choosing his words slowly, “if you wanted to show me how our people reproduce in more…detail…” He squeezed Nail’s hand. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

Nail bit his lip, and Piccolo found his eyes glued to his partner’s mouth. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he murmured, half a smirk to his voice. He’d gotten what he wanted from the conversation.

Piccolo had never been so glad to be convinced of something.


	5. Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "Writing prompt?? Piccolo and Nail babysitting Gohan and trying to figure out his homework"

Chi-Chi pursed her lips and looked the men that Goku proposed as babysitters over. “I don’t know,” she said apprehensively. “I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Aw, Chi, it’ll be fine.” Goku threw an arm around her shoulder and beamed at Nail and Piccolo. Nail gave Chi-Chi a reassuring nod, Piccolo just folded his arms and stared impassively at the wall over her head. “It’s just for a few hours. I don’t see why Gohan needs a babysitter anyway.”

“He needs one because he’s only nine and that’s too young to be by himself.” She tapped her foot on the floor and sized the duo up. Chi-Chi had only known Nail for a few months, only since he and Piccolo had accidentally defused, but he seemed trustworthy. She still didn’t trust Piccolo, especially not with Gohan, but even so, over the last few years he hadn’t made any sort of attempt at attacking anyone who didn’t deserve it. And she’d seen how he listened when Gohan talked. If nothing else, Gohan liked him, and would be happy that he was there, and hopefully Nail would keep him in line so they didn’t wind up training themselves to death while she and Goku were out for a couple of hours.

“Alright,” she relented, “fine. Gohan’s just getting out of the bath. There’s some leftover grilled fish and rice in the fridge to heat up–let Gohan do it, I don’t want you two using the microwave. If you’re thirsty there’s water, Piccolo you should know how the sink works by now.” Piccolo scowled. “Gohan needs to finish his math homework after dinner, and after that he can do what he likes. We won’t be back before bedtime, but he goes to sleep at eight.” She pointed at Piccolo. “No training.”

Piccolo bristled. “The androids–”

“No. Training. You people have trained every day for a year now. You can take one night off.” Chi-Chi patted Goku’s hand. “Goku is.”

Goku squeezed her shoulders a little tighter. “We’re going for dinner! Have fun, guys!” He raised his fingers to his forehead and suddenly they were both outside the restaurant.

Chi-Chi shrieked. “I’ve asked you a million times to stop doing that without warning! I didn’t even finish telling them about Gohan!”

He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Sorry, Chi. But I was hungry, and they’ll be fine.”

~~~

“This is stupid.”

Gohan looked up at Piccolo, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor several feet away from the kitchen table. His arms were folded and his back was hunched, as though he was trying to curl into a ball. Nail sat across the table from Gohan, trying to help him with his math homework. Unfortunately, he didn’t know the Earth symbols for numbers, and was having a hard time. But at least he was trying–unlike Piccolo.

“When are you ever going to need to know this, anyway?” Piccolo went on. “I don’t know any of it, and I’m doing just fine.”

Gohan shrugged. “I want to be a doctor. Doctors have to be good at math! Come on, Piccolo, I’ll show you!”

Piccolo grumbled, but stood and headed to the table. Nail shot him a quiet smile, and Gohan watched Piccolo’s face contort and go purple. “This is still stupid. You and your mother put too much importance on this.”

“Just because their priorities are different doesn’t mean they’re stupid,” Nail gently chided. “I’ll admit, I don’t understand it much either, but if this is so important to someone who’s important to you, shouldn’t you support it?”

“But it’s _stupid_.” Piccolo tapped a random equation in Gohan’s notebook with a clawed finger. “None of this even _means_ anything. It’s all just random symbols. You’re supposed to make sense out of that?”

“It says ‘eighteen times four,’” Gohan said. “The answer is seventy-two.”

Piccolo’s eyes widened. “What’s times mean? Are you bending the fabric of time to try and meet the boy from the future again?”

“Times is just slang,” Gohan explained.

“It means multiply,” Nail added. “They use this little cross mark to stand in for it.”

“Oh.” Piccolo wrinkled his nose. “That’s not nearly as interesting.”

Nail laughed and Gohan watched Piccolo’s blush deepen. “Piccolo,” Gohan said, “do you like Nail?”

Piccolo sputtered and now it was Nail’s turn to blush. “Wh-what–what kind of stupid question is that?”

“So you do like him!” Gohan grinned. “Nail, do you like–”

“Go back to your math,” Piccolo interrupted, shooting to his feet and stalking off with a swirl of his cape. “It’s more important than what you’re asking now.”

~~~

Gohan’s arms were loosely locked around Piccolo’s neck as he carried the sleeping boy upstairs. He’d begged Piccolo and Nail to let him stay up late, and Piccolo had hardly ever been able to say no to Gohan. Nail wasn’t much help either, allowing the boy to read story after story to them until he started drooping halfway into a story about dogs in snow. Piccolo gently deposited him in his bed and pulled the covers over him, gazing at him for a long moment.

It wasn’t that he was avoiding going back downstairs to Nail, necessarily. Sometimes he just liked to look at Gohan, to see that he was alright. And he certainly wasn’t in a hurry to be alone with Nail again.

Alright, maybe he was avoiding Nail.

Ever since Gohan asked Piccolo if he liked Nail, he’d caught Nail giving him odd looks for the rest of the evening. Odd, appraising looks. Looks like he was seeing Piccolo for the first time, or in a new way. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. And he definitely didn’t want to go back down there and have Nail start talking to him about it.

But it wasn’t like he could stay upstairs forever. Reluctantly, and with a glare shot over his shoulder at Gohan for starting all this in the first place, Piccolo turned and headed for the stairs.

“Still asleep?” Nail asked quietly as Piccolo reached the bottom.

“Yeah.” Piccolo scratched the side of his nose and kept his gaze firmly on his feet. “I guess now we just wait until Goku and Chi-Chi get back.”

“Hey, before they do, let me ask you something.”

Every muscle in his body tensed. Here it was. “What?”

“Do you like me?”

Fucking fuck shit fuck _FUCK_. He’d known it was coming and yet he still didn’t have an answer. “Of course I do,” he said gruffly, still not looking up. “You’re a great ally, and–”

“That isn’t what I mean, and you know it.”

Piccolo flinched as Nail moved into his space. “I won’t lie,” Nail continued, “I’d thought about it before. But you’re always so antisocial that I thought you’d never go for it. But after tonight–”

“There is no after tonight,” Piccolo spat. His palms were sweating and he still refused to look up, eyes tracing Nail’s shoes just in his line of vision. “I don’t do relationships.”

“Humans have a saying. I believe it goes ‘bullshit.’” That got Piccolo to look up, if only to glare at Nail. But the glare died on his face when he got a look at Nail’s. The little half-smile he sometimes wore was there on his face, and Piccolo’s stomach did the little flip-flop it always did when he saw it. “Gohan’s told me stories, you know. About you, about who you used to be before we met. You swore you were closed off and didn’t care about anyone. But you do.” Piccolo swallowed when Nail took his hand. His throat was so dry all of a sudden. “I can accept being second-best to Gohan. I know no one will ever be as important to you as he is. But–I–” Nail’s smile turned shy, and his eyes shone with hope. “Can we try?”

Piccolo’s cheeks burned and he bit his lip. “I–I guess there’s no harm in trying.”

The look on Nail’s face–and the warm feeling it brought Piccolo–told him he’d made the right decision.


	6. The Bad Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by bringingyaoiback: "If you're still doing drabbles, can you do Piccolo and Nail with 7 ("everyone keeps telling me you're the bad guy")?"

“Leave me alone.”

Nail kept his features schooled, even though all he wanted to do was reach out and slap Piccolo upside the head. “Can I be blamed for wanting to know more about the person I was supposed to spend forever fused with? Especially when that person is so intriguing.”

“There’s nothing ‘intriguing’ about me,” Piccolo growled. He hadn’t moved since Nail arrived, sitting crosslegged in the air with his arms folded and his shoulders hunched. His eyes were closed and he’d clearly been trying to meditate until Nail showed up. (It was also clear that he thought he was good at it, but his technique left a lot to be desired.) “Go away if you’re not going to fuse with me again.”

“It’s hardly _my_ fault our fusion failed.” Rather, it wasn’t _entirely_ Nail’s fault, just like it wasn’t entirely Piccolo’s. They weren’t as compatible for fusion as Nail had first thought, that was all. “Being bitter about it isn’t going to help us any.”

Piccolo finally opened his eyes at that. “There’s no us. There has never been an us. There was you, and there was me, and then there was _only_ me, and now you’re here again.”

“Listen.” Nail braced his hands on Piccolo’s knees, leaning forward to stare intently into his eyes. Piccolo recoiled, but didn’t attack him, which Nail took as a victory. “If I’m going to be stuck on this dragon-forsaken rock with no other Namekians besides you and the old man, we’re going to have to learn to get along. And that starts with you clearing something up for me.” Piccolo’s eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. “Like I said, you’re intriguing, Piccolo. According to the boy you’ve attached yourself to, you’re a good, kind person, if a little gruff.” To his surprise, Piccolo purpled and looked away. Interesting. “But when anyone else talks about you…everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

Nail watched as Piccolo’s tongue darted out to lick his lips and oh, _that_ was something he might want to explore later. “It’s…a long story,” Piccolo said, still not looking at Nail.

Nail grabbed Piccolo’s chin and forced him to look him in the eyes again. “I’ve got all day.”


	7. Piccolo the Third

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "Take writing requests! Then more Nail & Piccolo with something about Namekians culture/headcanon/anatomy/BABIES (uhmmm....3....uhmmm) plus moking of those 2 cuties by Vegeta or anyone asking them curious deep embarrasing questions"

Gohan cradled the newborn gingerly in his arms, his face aching from how he hadn’t stopped beaming since he’d heard the news. “He’s beautiful,” he said, looking up at Nail. “Congratulations!”

Nail’s smile made his eyes crinkle at the corners, and he bowed his head in a silent gesture of thanks. “He looks just like Dende did when he first hatched,” he said, fondness colouring his voice.

“Have you picked out a name yet?” Gohan gave the baby one of his fingers to hold. His grip was strong, stronger than what it would have been if he’d been a human baby, and his large black eyes blinked up at Gohan, a tiny frown creasing his brow as though he was wondering who this strange not-green person was.

“We’ve both suggested a few, but–”

“His name is Piccolo the Third,” Piccolo interrupted, speaking up suddenly from his post behind Gohan. Any time anyone else was holding the baby, Piccolo was behind them, keeping a watchful eye on them

“Piccolo,” Nail sighed, “we talked about this.”

Piccolo folded his arms, jaw set stubbornly. “His egg came from _my_ body, so _I_ get to name him. He’s Piccolo the Third.”

Gohan’s smile twisted up at the corners as he looked up at his old teacher. “But if you’re _both_ Piccolo, how are you going to know which one is which when someone talks to you?”

“We can figure that out later,” Piccolo sniffed, waving dismissively. “His name is Piccolo the Third, and that’s all I’m saying about it.”

Nail shook his head. “Well, it’s time for, ah, Three, I guess, to have some water.” He reached out to take the baby from Gohan, smiling at the way he curled into his chest. “There, there,” he cooed when the baby squirmed. “I’m here.”

“Make sure you support his head,” Piccolo said. “And test the water out on your arm first, to make sure it’s not too hot. And–”

“Piccolo.” Nail shot a wry look over his shoulder as he walked away. “I _do_ know a fair bit about child-rearing, you know.”

“Maybe so,” Piccolo called after him, “but I’ve been a parent for longer than you, dammit!” Suddenly realizing what he’d said, Piccolo clapped a hand over his mouth and glanced down at Gohan. Gohan beamed at him. “Stop that,” Piccolo mumbled.

Gohan tried to stop smiling, but couldn’t. “Ugh, whatever,” Piccolo muttered, rubbing his temples. “You’d better get going, kid; your mother’ll have your hide if you’re late.”

“Okay!” Gohan wrapped his arms around Piccolo’s waist. “Bye, Dad!”

“You cut that out!” Piccolo bellowed, but Gohan was already diving off the edge of the Lookout and heading for home, giggling the whole way.

~~~

“Oh no,” Piccolo said, voice flat. “He has my nose. And he’s never giving it back.”

Three giggled, pulling at his father’s face. “Nail,” Piccolo called, “get over here and control your child.”

Nail rolled over onto his stomach under the sun lamp they’d set up just to the right of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. “It’s your turn. I let him abuse my face all yesterday.”

“I hate you. Ow!”

Three yanked on Piccolo’s ears, laughing the whole time. “Violent little brat,” Piccolo muttered appreciatively. “We’ll make a demon king out of you yet.”

~~~

“So how does it work, exactly?”

Piccolo bounced Three on his lap and frowned questioningly at Gohan. “How does what work?”

Gohan pointed at Three. “I mean the egg thing. Only one of you has to lay it, right? So how come he’s biologically both of yours, instead of just yours?”

Purple spread across Piccolo’s face and up to the tips of his ears. “I-I–we–that’s not something you need to worry about,” he stammered.

“Did you have sex? I didn’t think Namekians could–”

“That’s enough questions for today,” Piccolo said loudly, scooping up his son and stalking off. Gohan frowned after him, then shrugged and went to look for Nail. Maybe he’d tell him how it worked.


	8. A Serious Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "Recently you did Tien & Yamcha, why not Nail & Piccolo. I kinda like the idea Chichi at first was nervous about them showing their relationship infront of Gohan & Goten as the namekians look like men & humans being confused as well make Piccolo shy"

Chi-Chi’s hands rested on her hips as she frowned at the men before her. Her eyes narrowed judgmentally, and she pursed her lips as she processed what she was seeing. It wasn’t exactly the _worst_ thing these two had ever done (especially one of them), but it was definitely going to be uncomfortable and difficult to explain.

Finally she sighed. “So when did this happen?”

Piccolo looked steadily over her head. He clearly wanted to have his arms folded like he usually did, but with one of his hands occupied by holding Nail’s he couldn’t. As such he had one arm wrapped awkwardly around his chest, and it looked ridiculous. “None of your business,” he said, still not looking at her.

“Just a couple of days ago,” Nail told her. Chi-Chi had quite liked Nail when he first showed up. He was, among other things, proof that Piccolo’s violent and antisocial behaviour was an anomaly among Namekians, and a good conversationalist to boot. “We wanted to keep it quiet for a while because of how a relationship like ours might be perceived on this planet, but Piccolo wanted to make sure Gohan knew first.”

A pang of guilt shot through Chi-Chi’s heart, but she did her best to brush it aside. “Well. You _are_ both men, after all.”

“Technically,” Nail started, “we’re not really male _or_ female, but–”

“You’re the same gender, anyway,” she interrupted, “and you look like men, for all intents and purposes. There’s a fair amount of people who’ll accept you, to be sure, but there’s gonna be a lot of people who won’t. I’ll warn you of that now.”

Piccolo mumbled something under his breath that Chi-Chi didn’t catch, but Nail did. “Dont be like that,” he chided. “And need I remind you that this was _your_ idea to begin with?”

“Well, look.” Chi-Chi tapped her foot. “You can come in. You can talk to Gohan about it. But I can’t tell you how he’ll react. The boys have never met someone in a same-sex relationship before.” She hesitated to call them gay. Did it still count as gay if they were from a species with only one gender? “So be patient with him.” Turning, she led the way into the house. “Mind the mess; I haven’t had a chance to clean up in a bit.”

“It’s spotless as always, Chi-Chi,” Nail said politely as they followed her inside. She shook her head. How had grumpy, always-angry Piccolo managed to land as kind a man (not man, she reminded herself) as Nail?

“Thank you. Gohan! Come here for a minute!” She turned to the two Namekians. “I’ll leave you be for a bit, then.” With that, she headed off to scoop up Goten. “Come along, dear, we’re going outside for a minute.”

Goten grinned at Piccolo and Nail as she walked past them. “Hi, Piccolo! Hi, Nail!”

Piccolo gave him a small wave. “Be good for your mother.”

Chi-Chi shot a smile over her shoulder at him. Piccolo had grown so much since they’d first met. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought she was proud of him.

“Mommy, how come we can’t stay inside with Nail and Piccolo?” Goten whined as they went outside.

“Because they have something very important and very private to talk to Gohan about,” Chi-Chi said, setting him down. “And I need you to help me with the laundry.”

Goten pouted. “Why can’t they talk to me about it, too?”

“I told you, Goten, it’s private.”

“Is it about fighting?” Goten passed her clothespins when she held out her hand for them. “I can listen to that! Piccolo always lets me listen to them when they talk about fighting.”

“No, it’s not about fighting.”

Goten wrinkled his nose. “But that’s all Piccolo talks about.”

She snorted. “That’s true.” Chi-Chi looked down at her youngest thoughtfully. “Well. I’m sure they’d rather they told you themselves, but I think I’d rather we had a little talk first.” She settled on the ground under the clothesline. “You know how me and Daddy are your parents?” Goten nodded. “That’s because we love each other a lot. So we got married so we could spend forever together.”

Goten frowned thoughtfully, trying to connect the dots. “What does that have to do with Piccolo and Nail?”

“Well, they love each other too.”

“Oh.” Goten nodded. “Okay.”

She blinked. It was really that simple? Goodness, if she’d known it would be that easy, she would have had this talk with Gohan years ago. “Alright then.” She stood up and went back to the laundry. “That’s really it.”

He handed her another clothespin. “Mommy, you’re silly.”

“I guess I am,” she sighed.

There was a shriek from the house. “THAT’S ALLOWED?!” Gohan cried. Before Chi-Chi could react, the door slammed open and Gohan had her by the arms. “Mom!” he shouted. “Boys can like boys!”

“I–yes, they can, dear,” Chi-Chi replied, dazed.

Laughing, Gohan ran back to where Piccolo was standing in the doorway, bewildered, and threw himself into a hug. Chi-Chi shook her head. In hindsight, she wasn’t sure what she’d been so worried about. Her boys were good kids, after all.


	9. The Talk™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "The Nail & Piccolo post after 3 was born was cute and we'll written especially the overprotective new mommy Piccolo. I'm looking forwards to how Nail might explain the "Baby Making" part. Maybe you could take inspiration from how real slugs mate

“Generally speaking, most organisms reproduce either sexually or asexually,” Nail started. He sat crosslegged in front of Dende and Gohan, hands on his knees. Gohan’s eyes were wide and he looked eager to learn. Dende, on the other hand, was only half paying attention. Nail frowned. Gohan had been the one to ask, but Dende was the one who needed to know how his body worked. He cleared his throat, drawing Dende’s attention back to him. “Namekians, on the other hand, can do both. It’s generally more difficult for us to reproduce asexually, since there are a few things missing when it’s done by yourself.”

“Things like what?” Gohan asked. He leaned forward in anticipation, and if Nail had let him he probably would have been taking notes.

“A mix of DNA, for starters.” Nail tapped the middle of his chest. “This is where the egg is formed. After a few days, once it’s a decent size, the egg is removed from the parent’s body through the throat and mouth. If it’s been properly gestated, the process is uncomfortable, but not overly difficult or painful.” Nail had vague memories in the back of his mind from his time fused with Piccolo of the way King Piccolo created his children. They were not pleasant. “That’s the other reason it’s easier to reproduce sexually,” he added. “Sex stimulates the colinary glands,” he pointed just under his jaw where the colinaries were, “and when they’re stimulated they release a fluid called marinach.”

Dende prodded at the underside of his own jaw. “I don’t feel anything there.”

To Nail’s surprise, Gohan blushed and looked away. He filed that away as something to ask him about in private later and instead turned his attention to Dende. “They become harder and more sensitive during sex,” he explained. “Which, in turn, makes them easier to stimulate.”

“So what’s marinach for?” Gohan asked. He still wasn’t looking at Dende.

“Its purpose is twofold.” Nail’s hands rested on his knees again. “Partially, it’s an exchange of genetic material, fertilizing the egg so a child with the DNA of both parents can form. Or all parents; it depends on how many people contribute genetic material.” He shrugged. Partnerships with more than two people weren’t common on Namek, but they happened. Nail didn’t know enough about human culture to know if it was commonplace on Earth or not, but he figured he’d throw it in just in case. “Marinach also functions as a lubricant. If there’s a fertilized egg in a parent’s body, their colinaries continue to work, keeping the throat lubricated to make expelling the egg easier.

“Of course, it is possible to have an egg without another’s genetic material,” he added. “It’s just that the child will only have the DNA of one parent, and the process is more difficult and tiring without marinach to help. The main benefit to reproducing asexaully is the ability to influence the baby.”

“Influence how?” There was a wary edge to Dende’s voice.

Nail paused as he thought about the best way to explain. “Let’s use Piccolo as an example. He grew quickly–much quicker than a regular Namekian. He was also the reincarnation of another Namekian, with the same soul and memories as his father. This is a fairly tricky thing to pull off, but King Piccolo was a fairly tricky person from what I understand.” He chuckled. “Does that answer your question?”

Dende looked relieved. “So it’s just the growth rate that can be influenced, then.”

“Growth rate, appearance, memories.” Nail ticked each item off on his fingers. “Nothing so major as personality or abilities. If you’re of the warrior clan and reproduce asexually, there’s nothing to say you couldn’t still end up with a dragon clan child. Nothing really determines that, as far as anyone can tell–it just happens.”

“Okay.” Dende nodded. Nail made a mental note to ask him later if there was something bothering him about his own birth.

“Wait,” Gohan said, a confused frown crinkling his face. “How do you stimulate the whatsit glands if they don’t show up until you’re having sex? Isn’t the point of sex to stimulate the whatsits?”

“Colinary glands,” Nail corrected gently. “You have to stimulate other erogenous zones until the colinaries are ready. Places like the mouth, neck, chest, antennae, those will all help get the colinaries ready for sex.” He frowned, trying to remember. “I believe humans call it ‘foreplay.’”

Gohan squeaked, his face turning red. “Oh.”

“That’s pretty well how reproduction works,” Nail continued. “Any questions?”

“I have one,” a voice from behind him growled. “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?!”

Nail twisted to smile up at Piccolo. “Hello.”

“Are you crazy?!” Piccolo barked. He jabbed his finger at the children. “They’re too young to be hearing this kind of thing! And besides that, if Gohan’s mother finds out you’ve been telling him about sex, she’ll rip your head off!”

“Oh, come on, Chi-Chi’s not that bad.” Nail stood, stretching out his back. “Besides, they’re at the age where this is generally discussed on Namek. What they choose to do with the knowledge is their business, and it’s not like Gohan can use it much anyway.”

Again, Gohan looked at Dende, blushed, and looked away again. Interesting. Even more interesting was the fact that Dende did nearly the exact same thing to Gohan.

“Gohan doesn’t even know how his own species reproduces yet,” Piccolo snapped. “What made you decide–”

“He asked.” Nail shrugged.

“He– _you don’t have to tell someone something just because they ask_!”

“Why not?” Nail looked around. “Where’s Three?”

“Having a nap. Don’t change the subject!” From the corner of his eye, Nail watched Gohan and Dende sneak away. Good. He needed some alone time with Piccolo for a moment. “I don’t _care_ that sex isn’t a taboo subject on Namek, it’s a taboo subject here!” Piccolo went on. “Don’t you–”

He was unable to finish the sentence, because Nail stuck two fingers into Piccolo’s mouth. “You’re right,” he said, a giddy thrill running through him when Piccolo gave a surprised moan around his fingers. “I’ve done something I shouldn’t.” He leaned forward to whisper in Piccolo’s ear. “Shouldn’t you punish me?”

Piccolo swallowed around his fingers. _I hate you,_ he told him over their shared bond, but he didn’t remove Nail’s fingers.

Nail smirked and rubbed his fingers over Piccolo’s tongue sensually. _Prove it._


	10. Pregnant (Sort Of)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "54. Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash? (can you make this work somehow for Piccolo & Nail please)"

Nothing. _Still_ nothing.

Nail’s hands shook as he rubbed his chest. Even just from simple touches it was clear that there was nothing in there that wasn’t there usually. Nothing. No egg.

He’d done everything he could think of to make sure of it. He’d checked the colour of his saliva, felt around for unusual lumps in his chest, gotten Dende to give him a physical examination. Nail had even gone so far as to obtain a human pregnancy test, only to find it didn’t work as well for Namekians. It had been worth a shot, he’d thought, except it had ended up being pretty much useless.

He didn’t know what to do. He and Piccolo had been actively trying to conceive a child together for weeks now; surely _one_ of those times should have worked. They’d already agreed that Nail would be the egg’s carrier, the “mother” as the humans called it, so he’d always been the one who swallowed (except the few times that Piccolo forgot). Statistically speaking, he _should_ have conceived at least once by now.

Nail buried his face in his hands and dug his nails into his forehead. Why? Why wasn’t it working? The longer he was forced to wait, the more forceful he got with Piccolo. Just the night before, he’d pinned Piccolo to the wall and refused to let him go until he’d been satisfied three whole times more than usual. Piccolo hadn’t seemed to mind all that much, although he did mess up and swallow a couple times. Nail knew Piccolo didn’t want a child as much as he did, already having Gohan as a sort of surrogate, but he was still willing to become a parent alongside Nail, and it frustrated Nail to no end that he just couldn’t make it happen.

“You look like hell.”

Nail peeked out from between his fingers to glare at Piccolo. “Thanks.”

His partner came out of the doorway, arms folded. “Well, you do. What’s wrong?”

Nail stuck his hands in his pockets and looked away. “Nothing.”

“Well that’s a steaming pile of horse shit if I ever heard one.” When Nail glared at him, he shrugged. “Come on, there’s no kids around. And something’s definitely wrong. I came in to find you standing in the middle of the living room with your face in your hands and your thoughts streaming a steady broadcast of self-loathing.” Nail flushed; he hadn’t realised his thoughts had carried. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who heard.” Piccolo shrugged. “And even then it’s only because of our bond. So your secret’s safe with me.”

His hands fell on Nail’s shoulders. “You’re not a failure because you can’t conceive right now. These things happen. Doesn’t make you a bad person, and I’m not going to leave you because of it; what kind of asshole do you think I am?”

Nail gave him a shaky smile. Despite how coarse Piccolo could be, he did always manage to make Nail feel better. “You’re awfully considerate, for a demon king.”

“Leave that alone already,” Piccolo grumbled. “Look, I came in here because I’ve got news. Good news or bad news first?”

Nail’s head dropped onto Piccolo’s shoulder. “Bad news, I guess.” Great.

“Bad news: these things don’t work on Namekians.” Piccolo shifted, and Nail looked up to see him holding a human pregnancy test. It was clearly not the one Nail had used, and he looked at Piccolo quizzically. “Chi-Chi gave it to me,” he said. “Telling her we were trying to have a kid was the worst idea you’ve ever had, including dying that one time.”

“She means well.” A smile tugged at Nail’s mouth for the first time in a while. If that was the worst news Piccolo had to offer, things might not be so bad after all.

“You always take her side.” Piccolo shook his head and tossed the test into a corner of the room. “Anyway, good news.” His hands rested on Nail’s back, one upper, one lower, and pulled him forward. Nail started with surprise. Piccolo hardly ever initiated this kind of contact–holding hands, touching Nail’s face, even the occasional kiss, but a direct hug was practically unheard of. Though it was more uncomfortable than usual. There was something between their chests, pressing against Nail.

Something small, and round, and warm.

Nail struggled to push back and lift the collar of Piccolo’s cape with shaking hands. His eyes widened. There was a small lump, not quite the size of Nail’s fist, smack dab in the middle of Piccolo’s chest.

“The damn test came up negative,” Piccolo said as Nail raised shaky fingers to brush against it. “But I was paying attention when you explained how this works, and I think I can tell an egg when I feel one.”

An egg.

Piccolo had an egg.

_Their_ egg.

In his chest.

Nail’s eyes stung and he grabbed Piccolo’s head to wrap their antennae together in a searing kiss. Piccolo chuckled and tears ran down Nail’s cheeks even as a grin split his face.

They were going to be parents after all.


	11. Overprotective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "91.Sorry I'm protective over the things I love. TBH love the pregnancy test one

“Piccolo. Stop. Please, I’m begging you.”

Piccolo ignored Nail, rushing off to find more blankets.

_Don’t you dare run away from me! Piccolo! Get back here! You know I can’t move right now! Asshole!_

Piccolo continued ignoring his partner’s telepathic outbursts, gathering up all the pillows and blankets from the Lookout’s bedroom as fast as he could. Mr. Popo gave him an amused look as he dashed by again. He ignored him and scurried back to the main room where Nail was situated.

Nail glared up at him from his spot on the floor, their egg in his lap, absolutely smothered in blankets and surrounded by pillows on all sides. “I hate you,” he informed Piccolo.

“No, you don’t.” Piccolo dropped his armload on the floor and set about wrapping the egg with the main bedroom’s comforter. “This is for our damn child; the least you can do is be supportive.”

“Piccolo, the egg’s not going to hatch for another three months. I’m not sitting here surrounded by blankets and pillows for three months.”

“Of course not. I’ll spell you off.”

“That’s not how it works.” Nail struggled to rise under the weight of all the blankets without tipping the egg. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I am _not_.” Piccolo pushed at Nail’s shoulders, forcing him to stay seated. “Once the egg is outside the body, it needs to be kept warm, and have a parent around at all times to make sure it’s at the right temperature and ensure nothing bad happens to it. _You’re_ the one who told me that.”

“Yeah, _around_. That doesn’t mean we have to sit here with it the entire time.” Nail batted Piccolo’s hands away and stood up again. “One of us will always be nearby. You’re overreacting.”

Piccolo folded his arms and looked away, scowling. Nail was right. He was just so anxious; as soon as he’d found out he’d conceived he’d thrown himself into his new role of soon-to-be-parent, a little too hard from the looks of things. It had only gotten worse when Piccolo actually birthed the damn thing a week later. He just didn’t know what do do. What if something happened to Nail or their child before he was even born and it was all Piccolo’s fault? Or worse, both of them? He wouldn’t be able to bear it.

“Sorry,” he muttered. He kept his eyes on the ground. “I’m just overprotective of the things I love.”

Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders and Nail’s antennae gently brushed his in a soft kiss. “I know,” Nail said kindly. “Apology accepted. But you’re going to have to calm down a little. If this is how you are when there’s still three whole months to go, I’d hate to see how much you’re going to tear yourself apart when it actually hatches.”

Piccolo awkwardly unwrapped his arms and wound them around Nail’s waist, keeping his forehead pressed against Nail’s. “I’m going to be the best dad this planet’s ever seen, that’s what.”

“I beg to differ,” Nail said, “ _I’m_ going to be the best dad this planet’s ever seen.”


	12. Forehead Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by ellipticalgalaxy1: "I would love to read the "I just kissed your forehead, chill.” Piccolo x Nail"

Nail flinched away, hand coming up to his forehead. His eyes were wide and there was a blush spreading over his cheeks and nose. Piccolo folded his arms and steadfastly refused to find it adorable. “What’re you getting all worked up over?” he muttered. “I just kissed your forehead.”

Nail shook his head and took a shaking breath. “I–I don’t think you understand,” he started.

“It’s not a big deal.” Piccolo shrugged. “Gohan does it to Pan and Videl all the time, Chi-Chi does it to both her kids. It’s a gesture of affection. See if I ever tell you I give a shit about you again.”

“I–no, Piccolo, listen.” Nail rubbed at his forehead where Piccolo kissed him. “It might be just a simple gesture of affection for humans, but for us…for Namekians it’s a little more…intimate.”

Piccolo blinked. “Intimate how?”

“Well, you’ve seen two humans kiss on the lips before, right?”

He shrugged. “A couple times, yeah.”

“It’s more like that.” Nail shook his head. “So unless you want to do that kind of thing with me, maybe you shouldn’t do that anymore.”

The blood drained from Piccolo’s face so fast he felt dizzy. “I-I–” He swallowed. “I don’t know.”

Nail frowned. “What don’t you know?”

“Whether I want to do that or not.” Piccolo shrugged. “It felt nice.”

Nail’s eyes widened and a hand came up to press against his chest. “Oh. Um. Well then.” He reached out and touched Piccolo’s face, moving in to press a kiss of his own to Piccolo’s forehead. “Let me know what you decide,” he said, stepping back and turning to go, leaving Piccolo with his bewildered thoughts.


	13. Surprise Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "“Right… Well… I’m not sure how we ended up kissing like that…” Piccolo/Nail"

Piccolo’s grip on Nail’s vest slackened as Nail’s antennae slid against his. His eyes drifted shut and he pressed their foreheads together, desperately seeking more of the contact. It felt nice, so nice, and Nail gave a pleased hum when Piccolo moved his antennae along with Nail’s, and he couldn’t remember what he’d originally been yelling at Nail over, but kissing Nail was so much better than yelling at him and–

Wait.

Kissing.

Kissing Nail.

_Piccolo was kissing Nail._

Piccolo’s eyes snapped open and he disentangled himself from Nail, stumbling backwards. Nail’s eyes opened, too, slowly fluttering open and Piccolo swallowed. He was so thirsty all of a sudden. One hand came up to gingerly brush his antennae, still twitching, and he tried to wrap his head around the fact that Nail had just _kissed_ him and he’d–he’d not only _allowed_ it, he’d _liked_ it.

“Right…well.” Piccolo cleared his throat and looked away. “I’m not sure how we ended up kissing like that.”

Nail stepped towards him and Piccolo was proud of himself for not backing up. “It seemed like the easiest way to shut you up.”

“Oh.” Piccolo held his ground as Nail closed the gap between them again, one hand coming up to Piccolo’s face. Gods, he was so _thirsty_.

“How would you feel about doing it again?” Nail murmured. His thumb brushed across Piccolo’s cheek. Their faces were dangerously close.

Piccolo swallowed. “Fantastic,” he managed, leaning forward to press them together himself.


	14. Intimate (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "For the writing prompt, would like a Piccolo focused one that's also NSFW. Hate how single & underused Piccolo is in DB Super. I know in canon there's no other namekian around to match with Piccolo in Super till now (too bad he & Nail never defused and no new namekians from universe 6 were introduced in Super, saiyajins are too many) but can you still make it NSFW however you like (should I write some sort of consent like the previous anon? I know you want to be sure I'm an adult and YES, I am)"
> 
> (I don't mind Piccolo being single in Super, but he does seem underutilized...)

They fell onto the bed, tangled in each other. Antennae wrapped around each other, lips clashed, hands grabbed and caressed. It wasn’t pretty, by any means, but Nail didn’t care. They were together, and that was what mattered.

Piccolo rolled Nail onto his back and tugged at his collar, yanking it over his head. Before it even hit the floor next to the bed, he was kissing Nail’s throat, licking up it to kiss under his jaw. Nail closed his eyes and tilted his head back with a quiet moan. Generally, Namekians had sex standing up, but he definitely liked having the cushy feeling of the mattress on his back. Piccolo could be pretty rough, pushing Nail around. Having the bed helped offset that.

Nail’s hands clutched Piccolo’s head, guiding him to where he wanted him. His mouth watered. _Piccolo,_ he said, his inner voice hazy, _Piccolo Piccolo Piccolo Piccolo please. Please Piccolo you know what I want._

The mouth left his neck and Nail yanked it back into place, still begging. Piccolo’s tongue trailed over his colinary, hands caressing across Nail’s chest. _I need to take off my cape._ Nail squeezed him tighter and moaned as Piccolo’s teeth grazed his skin. _Nail. Let go._

Piccolo’s mouth pulled back again and Nail whined, opening his eyes. Piccolo sat up, smirking down at him as he yanked his cape off and tossed it behind him. He leaned forward and cupped Nail’s face in his hand, brushing his thumb over flushed cheeks. “It’s a good colour on you,” he said.

Nail squirmed and grabbed Piccolo’s wrist, guiding his hand over to Nail’s mouth. Piccolo frowned. “What are you doing?” Nail just smiled and sucked one of Piccolo’s fingers into his mouth. The look on Piccolo’s face told him he’d made a good decision. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open a little. “Does…does that feel good?” he breathed. His eyes were glued to where his finger disappeared into Nail’s mouth.

All Nail could send back was garbled white noise. He couldn’t form a coherent sentence, even mentally, with Piccolo’s thick finger brushing over his tongue. His other hand rose, shaking, to Piccolo’s jaw, rubbing a finger around one of the colinaries just under the hinge. Piccolo moaned and leaned closer, saliva dripping from the corner of his mouth. Nail abandoned the finger and leaned up, licking the thick wet substance from his face before crashing their mouths together. He worked his tongue into Piccolo’s mouth, finger still working at Piccolo’s jaw while they kissed. He tried to talk to Piccolo, tried to tell him how good he felt, how he hoped they could be this way forever, to beg for _more, Piccolo, faster, please,_ but his mind was sluggish and he couldn’t register much more than Piccolo’s entire essence surrounding him, and he clung to Piccolo as white overtook his vision and pleasure rocked him to his core, and he let the marinach fluid that rushed from his mouth drip down his face. He heard Piccolo moan and his own name echoed in Nail’s mind as Piccolo fell over the edge too, only Nail didn’t feel Piccolo’s marinach come into his mouth as much. He slowly separated himself from Piccolo, looking quizzically up at him as he panted.

“Piccolo, did you…did you swallow that?”

“Yeah.” Piccolo wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. “It feels good. Yours too.”

Nail’s eyes widened. “Wh–no, you’re not supposed to swallow it!”

“Yeah, you told me.” Piccolo rolled his eyes. “If I swallow both of ours there’s a chance I’ll trigger the fertilization process, right? But we talked about this. If we have a kid, we have a kid.” He leaned forward and twisted his antennae around Nail’s. _I know you’re ready,_ he said, and Nail closed his eyes. _I guess I’m ready too._

_But–but I was going to be the one to carry it._

_If I end up carrying it, so be it. I’m ready._

Nail smiled shakily up at Piccolo. _Well. If you’re that ready._ He moved his hands to either side of Piccolo’s face. _How about round two, just to make sure it takes?_

_I like the way you think,_ Piccolo said, leaning down to capture Nail’s lips again.


	15. Romantic as Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "please give me [MEAN AND GREEN] “Dude, this is romantic as fuck.”"

“What is this?”

Nail quirked a brow at his partner. “What is what?”

Piccolo shrugged and gestured between them. “You know. This. This thing we have.” Nail blinked. He honestly hadn’t thought Piccolo had noticed the growing chemistry between them. “I don’t–” Piccolo paused, frowned in thought, tried again. “I like you,” he told Nail bluntly. “But I don’t know how.”

“Alright.” Nail rubbed his forehead. He’d signed up for this when he’d agreed to spend his days sparring with a grouchy, emotionally dead ex-demon. “What do you mean, you don’t know how? You don’t know how you could possibly have developed feelings for another person, or–”

“Dammit, Nail, that isn’t what I mean and you know it.” Piccolo folded his arms and glared. “I don’t know if I like you platonically or–s-something else.” He averted his eyes at the last minute, a faint lavender blush starting to dust his cheeks. “I’m just trying to figure out if you feel the same or not.”

“Hm.” Nail stepped towards Piccolo cautiously, not wanting to scare him off. He knew Piccolo’s fight or flight instincts had a hair trigger. Thankfully, he held his ground and didn’t look like he was about to punch Nail. “So you like me, huh?”

“Yes.” Piccolo met his eyes defiantly. “Is that going to be a problem?”

Nail took another step and put a hand on Piccolo’s shoulder. “Absolutely not.” He grinned. “In fact, I’m rather fond of you myself.”

“So–” Piccolo was fully blushing now, but he still met Nail’s eyes, even if he swallowed nervously in the middle of his sentence. “Is this–what is this? Platonic or–”

“Dude.” Nail leaned forward to touch their foreheads together. “This is romantic as _fuck_.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "Another set of sentence prompts! I want your famous ship tag "mean & green" or was it "for want a Nail'? I think you should make the choice of the sentence cause I'm sure you can write the best out of this ship"
> 
> (The prompt I went with was "You’re strangely nonchalant for someone who almost died a minute ago")

“Well, well.” Nail’s hands hung loosely at his sides and he smiled at Piccolo. “We made it through after all.”

Piccolo snorted, folding his arms. “You’re strangely nonchalant for someone who almost died a minute ago.”

“I could say the same of you.”

“It wouldn’t be my first time.”

“Nor mine.”

“Technically–”

“Hey,” Krillin interrupted, “could you lovebirds take it somewhere else? Some of us are trying to call our wives over here.”

To Nail’s surprise, Piccolo flushed dark purple. “We–I–shut up.” Turning on his heel, he stalked off towards Gohan.

Nail watched him go sympathetically. He couldn’t really blame Piccolo for wanting to check on Gohan. The boy (young man, Nail reminded himself, still not used to the little boy he’d met on Namek being an adult now) was the most important person in Piccolo’s life, after all, and after everything they’d just been through with Frieza again…Nail was antsy to go see Dende. Sure, none of the people who died when Frieza blew up the planet would remember what happened, but the general consensus around him seemed to be to check on whoever they’d left behind.

A smack to his arm brought him out of his thoughts. Bulma stood next to him, a grin on her face belying her grief from a few minutes ago. “You should talk to him.” She nodded towards Piccolo.

“I just did,” he pointed out. “Now he’s talking to Gohan.”

Bulma gave him a pointed look. “You almost _died_.”

He shrugged. “Your point?”

“With the, uh, _lifestyle_ you people tend to live, aren’t you afraid one of you will actually die before you’re able to tell him how you feel?”

Heat pricked Nail’s cheeks. “F-feel about what?”

She threw her hands up. “Ugh! You’re worse than he is. It’s like talking to a brick wall!” She pushed him towards Piccolo, who was now standing by himself and watching Gohan leave. “Talk to him or I’ll lock you two in the gravity chamber until you do.”

Nail decided to not mention that both he and Piccolo could break out of that fairly easily and instead just shook his head. “I will talk to him, but it really isn’t anything so big a deal as you think.” He walked off towards Piccolo, who turned to look at him as he approached. His face was purple again, or perhaps still purple. It was hard to tell. “We should check on Dende,” Nail told him. Piccolo nodded silently and lifted off the ground.

It was a quiet, awkward flight to the Lookout. Nail wanted to talk, but he didn’t know what to say. Piccolo’s face hadn’t gone back to fully green the entire time, and he kept stealing looks in Nail’s direction when he thought he wasn’t looking. As the Lookout came into view, Nail finally decided to speak up. “I’m glad you’re alright,” he said quietly. Piccolo looked at him. “If something were to happen to you, I’d–”

“Don’t,” Piccolo said hoarsely, eyes wide. He stopped flying, floating a good few feet behind Nail. Nail turned to face him, a sick, hollow feeling growing in his chest. “You almost died too. If you’d been standing just a few feet to the left Whis’s bubble wouldn’t have caught you and–”

“But it did,” Nail reminded him gently, floating a little closer. Piccolo looked away. “Piccolo, I’m here now. If you were worried about me, that’s okay, you can talk about it.”

“I wasn’t _worried_ ,” Piccolo sputtered. “Just–just a little _concerned_ , that’s all. Don’t go making a big deal out of it or anything.”

“Of course not.” Nail came closer again, and Piccolo’s eyes flicked to his, locking in place there. “But I was worried about you, I’ll freely admit.” Piccolo’s eyes widened and he took a sharp breath. Nail reached for Piccolo’s shoulder, placing a hand there gently, comfortingly. “Do you want to know why?”

Without speaking, Piccolo nodded.

Nail smiled, his other hand coming to rest on Piccolo’s cheek. “I love you.”

Piccolo swallowed, eyes huge, lips parted slightly. “I-I–I’m–you–yes,” he blurted. He licked his lips, and Nail’s eyes followed the movement. “I, also, you. I’m–love you,” he stammered.

Nail leaned forward and wrapped his antennae around Piccolo’s, eyes closing. They were here, they were alive, they were together.

Despite the fact that they’d nearly died and the planet got blown up (sort of), this was probably the best day of Nail’s life.


	17. Babysitting 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "(Two Boys Kissing) PiccoNail, gimme more MEAN AND GREEN

“Oh, this is cute.”

Piccolo glared up at Nail from his position on the floor. “Shut it.”

Nail knelt next to him, eyes twinkling. “Deny it all you want, this is still the most precious thing I’ve ever seen.” Piccolo growled under his breath and Nail chuckled, leaning forward to put a hand on Piccolo’s cheek. “She looks comfortable.”

Sighing, Piccolo leaned into Nail’s touch and closed his eyes. “It took two hours to get her to sleep.” His hand ran absently through Pan’s hair as the toddler slept curled up in Piccolo’s lap. “She wanted to stay up late because her parents are out for the night.”

“Kids,” Nail chuckled, inching closer. “Want to put her to bed? Gohan and Videl will be home soon, and I’m sure they’d appreciate their daughter being asleep where she’s supposed to be when they get here.”

Piccolo shrugged. “I guess. I’m afraid I’ll wake her up if I move her.” Nail reached for her, gently lifting her from Piccolo’s lap. Piccolo opened his eyes and watched Nail hold his honourary granddaughter like she was made of glass. “Here.” He stood up and held out his hands. “Let me do it.”

Nail shook his head. “No, I’m fine. I just always forget how small and helpless human children are, that’s all.” He smiled at Piccolo and brushed their shoulders together as he walked by. “Be right back.”

Piccolo watched Nail leave, then stood in the middle of the room awkwardly. He glanced towards the long-discarded weighted training gear in a corner of the room and debated putting it back on. He’d taken it off so he didn’t accidentally hurt Pan with it when he was playing with her, but now that she was going to bed maybe he should put them back on.

Arms wrapped around his chest from behind and he shook his head. Or maybe he shouldn’t bother. “She’s still asleep?” he asked.

“Mm.” Nail rested his chin on Piccolo’s shoulder. “Out like a light. So, got a thank-you for your co-babysitter?”

Piccolo twisted to shoot Nail an incredulous look. “Asleep or no, Pan’s still in the other room. And Gohan and Videl will be home any minute. You can’t wait until we get back to the Lookout?”

“I never asked for anything big.” Nail grinned and slipped around to Piccolo’s front. “Come on, love. Give us a kiss.”

He knew Piccolo liked being called ‘love’ and he was using it to his advantage, and Piccolo knew it. Sighing, he leaned forward and wrapped their antennae together. _Fuck you,_ he told him.

_Mm,_ Nail said, squeezing tighter, _now_ that _can wait until we’re back at the Lookout._

The door opened and Piccolo’s eyes snapped open, stumbling back from Nail. Videl stood wide-eyed in the doorway, a hand over her mouth, Gohan behind her and looking vaguely embarrassed. “H-hey,” Gohan said. He licked his lips and looked away. “Where’s Pan?”

“Sleeping,” Nail assured him. “How was your date night?”

“Fine,” Videl said distantly, still staring at the two of them. She shook it off and smiled at them. “Thanks for looking after her.”

Piccolo shrugged, looking at the ground. He was embarrassed. He hated having people see him showing Nail physical affection, even if it was something as simple as kissing. It wasn’t like Gohan and Videl cared that they were in a relationship–both of them had bigger problems than two masculine aliens kissing. It was more that he wasn’t used to displaying affection yet, so having anyone else see it was weird and uncomfortable.

“Anytime,” Nail assured them, grabbing Piccolo’s hand and squeezing it. “Well, we’ll get going, then. Have a good night.” He tugged Piccolo out the door and into the sky.

“Slow down,” Piccolo said, tugging his hand away and flying up beside Nail. “The night’s not going anywhere.”

Nail zipped in front of him and stopped, Piccolo stopping just before he’d crash into him. Nail’s arms went around Piccolo’s neck and his antennae wrapped around Piccolo’s again. _Come on, love,_ he said, _give us a kiss._


	18. Fangirl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "Prompt: fangirl (Mean and Green) I picked this one cause I cannot imagine how FANGIRLS can fit with any of your lovable NailxPiccolo oneshots.....aah, I can't wait to read it"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl I have been searching for a way to get someone to call Piccolo a pointy-eared hobgoblin for YEARS

Bulma had a grin on her face and a glint in her eye and Piccolo liked neither of those things. “What?” he grunted, shifting in his seat.

“Nothing, nothing.” She waved him off, but her smile only grew. Her eyes flicked to Nail, who was discussing cooking with Chi-Chi not too far off. “So how long has this been a thing?”

He coughed into his fist. “What thing? There’s no thing.”

“There’s _totally_ a thing.” Bulma leaned forward conspiratorially. “Go on, dish. I promise not to tell anyone. Well, except Chi-Chi and 18, but–”

“Absolutely not.” Piccolo stood and turned away. “I don’t need you people fawning over my love life.”

“So there _is_ a love life now.” Bulma sounded very pleased with herself. Piccolo cursed under his breath and turned back to glare at her. She leaned back in her chair, arms folded, smirking. “Like I said, how long? We’ve got bets to settle.”

Piccolo looked away. He might as well tell her before she went and started harassing Nail about it. “Just yesterday.“ He glanced at Nail. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Oh, come on, we’re _friends_ , it’s normal for me to be obnoxiously interested in your love life.” Bulma gave a light punch to his ribs. “Let a girl fangirl a little.”

“Why don’t you go ‘fangirl’ over someone else,” Piccolo muttered, turning and starting to walk away. “Like Yamcha and Tien.”

He heard Bulma gasp, but kept walking. “Wait, Yamcha and Tien? What do you know about them that I don’t? Come back here, you pointy-eared hobgoblin!”


	19. Sleeping (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by ellipticalgalaxy1: "- the pair acting like the intimacy they shared at night never happened the next day (MEAN AND GREEN)"

Nail looked so helpless on his little cot, curled up and shaking, and something in Piccolo reached out to him. Maybe it was because he and Nail had shared a body for so long, but he couldn’t just leave him. Dende had said something like this might happen–Nail’s body had essentially gone from being almost dead to nonexistent to right as rain in what felt like a few hours. It was no surprise his body was under a lot of stress.

Piccolo reached out towards him, not sure what exactly he was doing. Offering a comforting touch? Shaking Nail awake? Before he could make any sort of contact, Nail’s eyes snapped open and he grabbed Piccolo’s hand.

“Please,” he said, staring up at Piccolo, “I can’t be alone right now.”

Awkwardly, Piccolo knelt next to his cot. “I don’t think I’ll be very good company.”

“I don’t need company, I need someone with me. Someone nearby. I need physical contact, something to keep me grounded.”

Piccolo hesitated. “How much physical contact?”

“As much as possible. This–” he gestured at their hands. “This is good, but it’s not enough. Please.”

“What do you want me to do?” Piccolo snapped. “Climb onto that rickety thing with you? There’s only just enough space for you on there, let alone me, and I’m taller than you are.”

“Please,” Nail said again, and Piccolo’s stomach turned at the fear and pain in Nail’s eyes.

“Fine.” He rose and tossed his turban and cape on the floor behind him. As soon as he took his hand away from Nail’s, Nail started shivering again. Piccolo grimaced. He hadn’t been lying; he looked pretty bad. Well, if a little physical contact was what it took to help Nail back to normal, Piccolo could suffer through it. Nail had only been around for a few hours, after all, it would be a shame if something happened to him already.

He nudged Nail back and carefully clambered onto the cot. It was a tight fit, and they could only fit if Nail turned his back to Piccolo and pressed right against him. Piccolo had to wrap his arms around Nail and tuck his chin on top of Nail’s head. It wasn’t so bad, actually. A bit strange, but nice. Nail had stopped shaking and his body temperature slowly went back to reasonable.

Piccolo had no idea how long Nail needed to stay like that, but he didn’t want to ask, and he ended up falling asleep before Nail moved.

Piccolo cleared his throat. “You’re feeling better, then.”

Nail nodded, eyes on the floor. “Yes. Much. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” He really hoped Nail would never bring it up ever again. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to think about it. He refused to acknowledge how Nail had felt in his arms, how for a few fleeting minutes they’d felt like one being again. Piccolo dug his claws into the palms of his hands and looked over Nail’s shoulder. He would not do this. They couldn’t have that kind of intimacy again. “If that’s all, I’m going to go train.”

“Yes.” Nail’s ears were flushed. “Thank you again.”

“Like I said, don’t mention it. Please.” Piccolo grabbed his clothes from the floor and hurried from the room, vainly trying to push the incident–and how he felt about it–to the back of his mind.


	20. Sleeping (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "How about "building a wall of pillows between them" as PART 2 of the Nail issue with need for contact. I wonder why Nail didn't ask for Dende? Must it be piccolo to be close to him? Oh when is 3rd born after piccolo & Nail's separation? +Mean & Green"

“No.”

Piccolo kept his arms folded and glared at Nail. “That was a one-time thing.”

“Please.” Nail’s hands clenched into tense fists at his sides. “I need–not contact, this time, just–emotional closeness.”

“Ask Dende.”

“I can’t.” Nail kept his eyes steadily on Piccolo’s. “He’s not old enough–not emotionally mature enough.”

Piccolo barked out a laugh. “What, and you think I am? I’ll fully admit I’m not good at anything to do with emotions. I never have been.”

“Please,” Nail repeated. “You don’t even have to touch me this time. I just need you to be close by, to know there’s someone here with me.” Nail reached towards Piccolo and he flinched away. “It’ll only be a few hours. Surely you can take such a small time away from your precious training?”

Piccolo growled. “Fine. But no touching. If any part of you touches me I’ll rip it off.”

Nail gave him a relieved smile that sent a strange feeling around Piccolo’s chest. “Thank you. I promise you will not regret this.”

Piccolo doubted that very much, but he looked over at the bed. It was bigger than the tiny cot they’d been forced to share the first time. It seemed like it had actually been built to hold two adults. Hopefully that would mean they wouldn’t accidentally touch each other while Nail slept.

Nail had spent an awful lot of time sleeping since he defused with Piccolo, so much so that they’d given him the Lookout’s main bedroom. While Piccolo had gotten over his exhaustion fairly quickly, Nail was taking over a week. Dende said there was nothing to be concerned about, but Piccolo wasn’t so sure. It wouldn’t do to have Nail constantly asleep. Piccolo had been counting on him as a training partner. He couldn’t exactly train with someone who was asleep.

He grabbed one of the pillows from the head of the bed and shoved it to the middle of the bed. Satisfied, he grabbed another and moved it as well. “What are you doing?” Nail asked.

“Making it so you don’t accidentally touch me.” Piccolo pointed at the pillow barrier he was building. “Now if you’re going to sleep, sleep. I’ll be right here.”

Nail came over and put a hand on Piccolo’s shoulder. “I really appreciate this, Piccolo.”

Something electric rushed through Piccolo from their point of contact. “No problem,” he blurted. “I–go to sleep.” He shrugged Nail off and curled up on his side of the bed, squeezing his eyes shut and hoping Nail wouldn’t push anything further.

Shortly, he felt the other side of the bed dip as Nail climbed into bed, and within a few minutes he could hear Nail’s breathing slow and even out. He was asleep.

Piccolo wished he could fall asleep, but he wasn’t even tired. He tried to empty his head and meditate, but his mind was whirling with thoughts that all demanded his attention at once. All of them were about Nail. He had no idea what to do. He wanted to tell Nail to stuff himself, but he also wanted to keep Nail around. When they’d first defused he wasn’t too keen on the idea of Nail sticking around, but he’d grown on Piccolo, and now he was anxious for Nail to recover so they could actually spend time together.

The problem was that Piccolo hadn’t been lying when he told Nail that he didn’t know anything about his emotions. It had taken months for him to figure out that he thought of Gohan as though he were his own flesh and blood, even longer to decide that he actually did enjoy the company of Gohan’s parents and their friends. With Nail, he’d been around the block enough times to figure out that he felt _something_ positive towards him, but he had no idea what it was. It was different than how he felt about Gohan or Dende. They were like unto kin for him. And it wasn’t like with Goku, or Tenshinhan, or even Chi-Chi, where they were friends but not particularly close. Piccolo didn’t have a name for how he felt about Nail, and that bothered him.

He peeked over his pillow wall at Nail. Nail’s eyes were closed, his face soft, lips parted slightly. Piccolo swallowed and rolled onto his side, his back to Nail, mentally chastising himself.

Nail was unwell and trying to recover. He didn’t need Piccolo’s weird feelings about how handsome he was all over the place.


	21. Green-Eyed Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "Number 32 ("wait a second, are you jealous?") from (for want a Nail)"

Nail stumbled along behind Piccolo with a yelp. “Slow down! What the hell is going on?”

“You’re an idiot.” Piccolo stalked towards the shoreline of Kame House’s island, yanking Nail along by his wrist. “You can’t encourage them when they’re like that.”

“Like what? They were just asking a few questions.”

“Yeah, to try and find out if you were single so they could set you up with someone,” Piccolo muttered. “Trust me, it’s not the first time Bulma and 18 have pulled that. Next thing you know, you’ll be on a date with–I don’t know, some–some _floozy_ from West City that Bulma knows, only you won’t know it’s a date until it’s too late, and then you’re stuck and you want to kill the people responsible only you don’t _do_ that anymore.” He started to lift off the ground. “We’re going home.”

“No we’re not!” Nail yanked his wrist from Piccolo’s grip and staggered back a few steps. Piccolo turned and glowered at him. “Don’t you go giving me that,” he snapped, “I was having a good time chatting with friends until you threw a temper tantrum over–over what, some theoretical date? Trust me, some of us are socially aware enough to know when we’re being pushed into a blind date, and just because you’re not doesn’t mean I’m not, too. _If_ Bulma and 18 try to set me up with some, ah, ‘floozy,’ I can politely decline, because I have _manners_.” He paused, thinking. “Or hell, maybe I _will_ go on the date just to spite you.” Piccolo’s eyes widened and for some reason he looked like he’d been punched in the gut. “Yeah, that sounds good,” Nail said, because he was pissed and feeling vindictive, “how about I just ask them directly if they know anybody?” He turned back to the house. “Hey, Bulma–”

His shout was cut off by a shriek and a mouthful of sand as Piccolo tackled him from behind. “Don’t you dare,” Piccolo growled, “don’t you _dare_ go back in there and let them set you up with somebody else! Do you understand me?”

Nail spat out the sand and twisted to try and glare at Piccolo. “Why should you care? What I do, who I date, that’s none of your business!”

Piccolo flipped him over so his back was to the sand and pinned him to the ground, snarling. “It _is_ my business, you selfish ass!”

“How? How the _fuck_ is it any of your–” Nail’s eyes widened as realization dawned. “Wait a second, are you jealous?”

Piccolo blanched and reared back. “No.”

“You are! You’re jealous of me! You’re jealous that I might be more socially adept at navigating this world than you are!” He struggled to sit up and to his surprise Piccolo let him, sitting back on Nail’s legs with that gut-punched look in his eyes again. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re jealous that while you’re the one who grew up here, who spent most of his life vowing to protect this planet–or at least certain people who live on it– _I_ might be the one who’s better at dealing with its inhabitants in a way that makes sense to them. I’m right, aren’t I?”

“No,” Piccolo said again, and there was something wrong with his voice, it was hoarse and distant. “I’m–that’s not–”

Without warning, Piccolo’s hands grabbed Nail’s head and pulled it forward, and the next thing Nail knew their foreheads were pressed together and Piccolo’s antennae wrapped around his briefly, chastely, before Piccolo pulled back again. His eyes were wide and almost scared. “I have to go,” he blurted, and before Nail could move he’d scrambled to his feet and run off. By the time Nail stood up, Piccolo had blasted into the sky, no doubt towards the Lookout.

Nail didn’t move for a moment. He stared dazedly at where Piccolo had disappeared, one hand coming up to rest on his forehead. Piccolo had kissed him. He’d _kissed_ him. What the hell had that been about? Did Piccolo have feelings for him? Was that what he was jealous about?

His face purpled at the thought. No, that wouldn’t make sense. Piccolo had always made it clear he wasn’t interested in any type of romantic relationship, openly sneering at any sort of public romantic affection between couples and brushing off the notion of a romantic partnership if it was ever brought up in conversation. But it _did_ make a twisted sort of sense, if Nail thought about it. It would certainly explain why he’d kissed Nail. And if Piccolo liked Nail, that would explain why he’d balked so hard at the idea of Nail going on a date with someone else.

But that didn’t give him the right to meddle in Nail’s affairs, or to yell at him and demand he do as Piccolo said, or to kiss him without asking. Nail straightened his shoulders, turned, and stalked back into Kame House. “So, Bulma,” he said as he entered, “know any cute humans who’d be interested in dating a green man?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey if you want to help me out [here's a link](https://agirlnameded.tumblr.com/commissions)


	22. Somewhere To Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by bringingyaoiback: "# 16 (I need a place to stay) with nail and piccolo!"

Everything was still a bit woozy on Piccolo’s end. He’d expected as much; it wasn’t as though he defused with somebody every day. He had hoped the effects of his fission with Nail would wear off quickly, but apparently not.

Dende’s hands glowed with healing light, and he chattered away to Nail as he healed his physical injuries and some of his exhaustion. Piccolo tuned most of it out, but every so often he’d catch bits and pieces, stories about what had happened since Nail had been gone. He noticed Nail tense when Dende mentioned the rest of their people, and he frowned. “Dende.” The boy looked up at him, biting off his words mid-sentence. “That’s enough for now. You must be tired. Go rest.”

Dende bit his lip and glanced at Nail, who sat up from the too-small cot he’d been lying on. “He’s right,” Nail rasped. His voice still wasn’t quite right, rusted from years of disuse. “You’ve taken excellent care of me, and I thank you. But you’re the guardian of a planet, now. Your responsibility is to those who live here, not me.” Piccolo held his tongue. “Go rest. My injuries are no longer so severe as to require your constant attention.” With a small smile, he shooed Dende away. “And I’d very much like to speak with Piccolo alone for a minute.”

Piccolo cleared his throat. “Yes. We need to talk. And you need to rest.”

Dende hesitated, but finally nodded. “Alright. If you need anything, please let me or Mr. Popo know immediately. I’ll be under the sun lamp if I’m needed.” And he disappeared out the door to the Lookout’s building.

Nail gingerly shifted so he was facing Piccolo, legs dangling from the edge of his cot. “What happened?” he asked. “Our fusion was supposed to be permanent.”

Piccolo shrugged. “Honestly? I have no idea. I’ve been getting headaches lately and then during one particularly awful one I passed out, and when I woke up you were there.” It had unnerved him at first. He’d had no idea what had happened, and Nail’s physical injuries that he’d had when Piccolo first fused with him were still there. He hadn’t _panicked_ , exactly, but there had been a lot of yelling. “But here you are, and you’re not dead. So. Congratulations on that, I guess.”

To his surprise, Nail laughed, then winced and grabbed at his ribs. “Ah, it hurts to laugh. Well, thank you for this second chance. I’ll have to thank Dende too, later.”

“Don’t thank me.” Piccolo shifted uncomfortably. “I still don’t know what happened. Or why it took us ten years to defuse.”

Nail’s eyes widened. “Ten years? It’s been that long?”

Piccolo grimaced. He’d forgotten that no one had told Nail that. “About that, yeah. Couldn’t give you an exact number, but–”

“Where are the others?” Nail demanded. “The other Namekians, are they safe? There were so few left when we fused, and I don’t–I don’t really have your memories, just a few vague concepts. What happened to them?”

“I’ll tell you, but you won’t like it,” Piccolo warned. “Good news is that everyone was revived with the dragon balls. They’re all alive and kicking, save the Grand Elder and a few who weren’t brought back due to a technicality.” He grimaced. “Moori’s the new Grand Elder.”

Nail nodded. “He was…on his way out. He was so much older than any of the rest of us and–I suppose it was just his time. Moori is a good choice.” He fixed his eyes on Piccolo’s. “So what is the bad news?”

“Bad news is that they live on a planet way out in the middle of nowhere. So if you were planning on going to live with them you might have a problem.”

“I see.” Nail went quiet for a moment. Piccolo said nothing, letting him digest what he’d just heard. He couldn’t be sure how Nail would react. “Is there any way to get me to them?”

“Probably.” Piccolo folded his arms. “If Goku were around, we could ask him to teleport you, but that’s not an option right now.” Stupid, _selfish_ Goku, deciding to stay dead for no reason. “So our options are finding the dragon balls of Earth and wishing you there, or seeing if Bulma has any more spaceships she can reverse-engineer for you. Either way, it’s going to be a while.”

Nail was silent again. Piccolo waited. “I’ll need a place to stay,” he finally said quietly.

Piccolo waved him off. “You can stay here. Dende will be happy to have you. And I’d be happy to have a new sparring partner, and an adult I can talk to without wanting to rip someone’s arm off.”

Nail laughed again, and it was stronger this time. Something fluttered in Piccolo’s stomach and he immediately quashed the feeling. “I’d be delighted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey if you want to help me out [here's a link](https://agirlnameded.tumblr.com/commissions)


	23. Neglect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by anonymous: "Can I request number 6 (You can’t kick me out! This is my bed!) in "For want a Nail" form

Piccolo rubbed at his eyes, half swaying on his feet. He’d never been this tired before. His eyes hurt and his head pounded and it was a struggle to concentrate. He never should have started skipping out on his meditations. And for what? More sparring, more training, more excuses to spend time with Nail. It was pitiful. Weak and pitiful. And now he was going to pass out for it.

“You’ve been neglecting your body again, haven’t you.”

Nail’s comment was not a question. He propped his hands on his hips, looking at Piccolo impassively. Piccolo shrugged. “What, you care or something?” His voice was rough with exhaustion and he winced to hear it. Disgusting.

“Yeah, actually, I do.” Nail shook his head. “This may shock you, Piccolo, but most people have this thing called ‘compassion’ that compels them to feel bad for others.”

“I know what compassion is,” Piccolo growled, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. It helped ground him and woke him up a touch, but he was still bone tired. He was going to collapse from exhaustion at this rate.

“Here.” Hands were on his wrists, pulling his hands away from his face. “You need to sleep.”

Piccolo tried to glare at him, but he wasn’t sure how successful it was. “I don’t sleep. _You_ don’t sleep. Our entire _species_ doesn’t sleep.”

“We do if we’ve been forgetting to actually take a rest for a week straight,” Nail shot back. “Just for a little while. Humans call it a ‘power nap,’ I think. Come on.” He tugged, and Piccolo followed, not bothering to resist. There wouldn’t be much point, anyway; in his state he could only put up a token resistance. Nail could overpower him easily, and he refused to give the bastard that satisfaction.

Nail led him down the hallway to the room he’d taken over when he and Piccolo first defused and Nail started living on the Lookout. From what Piccolo knew, he mostly used it as storage for the things he collected when they went sparring–rocks, branches, dried plants, living plants in tiny jars or pieces of broken pottery. There wasn’t much other use for it, since they didn’t sleep. Piccolo certainly never used the room that Mr. Popo insisted belonged to him. The only one who ever slept there was Gohan on the rare occasion he stayed on the Lookout overnight.

To Piccolo’s surprise, though, the bed in the corner looked fairly well used. He raised a brow at Nail, who shrugged. “It’s comfortable, and sometimes I like somewhere quiet to relax with a good book. Now come on, lie down.” Grumbling, Piccolo crossed to the bed and started to crawl onto it. “Hold on.” Nail’s hands gently lifted Piccolo’s turban off. “You don’t want to have your weighted clothes on for this. I swear, Piccolo, that’s half the reason you’re so tired all the time.”

“Some of us aren’t happy getting complacent during peace time,” Piccolo muttered, but he tugged his cape off and let it fall to the floor before crawling onto the bed.

As soon as his body hit the mattress, it was a struggle to keep his eyes open. Shit. Nail had been right. Piccolo needed this. The last thing he registered before dozing off was a slight dip in the mattress behind him.

~~~

When Piccolo woke, it was dark, and he peered blearily around to see if he could figure out where he was. It was comfortable, and warm. His eyes started to drift shut again. Surely a few more minutes couldn’t hurt.

Something shifted behind him and his eyes blinked open again. There was an arm across his waist, pulling him flush against a body. He rolled over and squinted through the darkness. It was Nail, of course it was Nail. Piccolo couldn’t even be surprised.

Although wait, yes he could. It was all coming back to him now–he’d been so tired, and Nail had dragged him to his bed to sleep, and there he was, and there _Nail_ was, except why was Nail with him? Such proximity was making Piccolo feel things, uncomfortable things, the same things that drove him to seek Nail out every waking minute while also screaming at himself to push Nail away. It took a long time for his eyes to adjust to the dim light, but when they did his vision was filled with Nail’s calm, sleeping face, and he swallowed.

Nail was so…attractive. There was really no other word for him. His full lips were parted slightly and Piccolo wanted to touch them. But that would be so inappropriate, so he held back, instead resting a hand on Nail’s side and closing his eyes again. He still needed his sleep.

~~~

The second time Piccolo woke up, it was to Nail’s smiling face. “Hi there,” he murmured. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Piccolo mumbled, blinking sleep from his eyes. The situation suddenly registered, far clearer than it had while he was still half-asleep, and he shoved away from Nail, his back slamming into the wall. His eyes went wide and panicked. “What the hell?” he demanded. “Why–why are you here?”

“I needed some sleep too.” Nail shrugged with one shoulder. “Come on, can’t a guy sleep in his own bed?”

“But–” Piccolo rubbed his forehead. “ _I’m_ sleeping here. Get out.”

Nail jerked back in shock. “I–you can’t kick me out! This is my bed!”

“Well I–you–we can’t be in the same bed, that’s just weird.” Piccolo shook his head and sat up. “I’m not sleeping with you. If you won’t go, I will.”

“What, so you can work yourself half to death again?” Nail grabbed Piccolo’s shoulder and shoved him back down. “I don’t think so.”

Something in Piccolo’s stomach twisted about how easily Nail could push him around, but that wasn’t the problem right now. The _problem_ was Nail’s very handsome face directly over his, and the colour creeping up Piccolo’s exposed neck. “Let go of me before I do something we’re both going to regret.”

Nail leaned down, fangs bared. “Try me.”

Without thinking, Piccolo grabbed both sides of Nail’s face and pulled their foreheads together with an audible clack. He squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped his antennae around Nail’s in a searing kiss. Yes, this is what he’d wanted, what he’d really been searching Nail out for. Nail didn’t move against him, but he didn’t struggle either, and Piccolo opened his eyes to see Nail staring bewilderedly at him.

“What…” he whispered hoarsely. One hand came up to cup Piccolo’s face. “What are you doing?”

Piccolo swallowed. “I can’t sleep with you because I don’t understand what these feelings are yet.” It was only a partial truth, but it was easier than the full truth. He understood his feelings just fine–better than usual, a little _too_ well, even. He just didn’t want to admit them. “I want to kiss you and–other things.”

“Other things?” Nail smirked and slid one antenna up Piccolo’s, drawing a startled gasp. “Well. Lucky for you,” he said, brushing a thumb over Piccolo’s cheekbone, “I want to kiss you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey if you want to help me out [here's a link](https://agirlnameded.tumblr.com/commissions)


	24. Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by pickleandthequeen: "49 (Don’t be an asshole. Asshole.) with Piccolo and Nail?"

“Take those off. I don’t want a handicap.”

Piccolo scoffed, but removed his weighted turban and cape, tossing them to the side. “Then don’t complain when you lose,” he said, cracking his neck. Nail’s mouth watered at the sight and he mentally chastised himself. Just because Piccolo was the most attractive person he’d ever laid eyes on didn’t mean he could go around staring at him. They were supposed to be sparring, not checking each other out.

Not that Piccolo was checking Nail out, of course, because he’d made it very clear he wasn’t interested in any sort of non-platonic relationship with anybody. Nail could live with that. Though really, it didn’t do any harm to look. He cracked a wry smile at Piccolo, who had shifted one foot back into a fighting position. “Let’s get started, then. You remember the stakes.”

Piccolo’s lips peeled back to bare his teeth at Nail. “Yes, I remember. Now come at me.”

The fight didn’t last long by their standards. Usually, a clash between the two of them would go on for at least a few hours. They’d be exhausted by the end, collapsed on the ground and struggling to breathe, sore all over, and Nail would let himself indulge in those moments, watch Piccolo as he splashed water on his face, let his eyes trail over the parts of his body that became exposed when his clothes were burned away by a ki blast. Today, though, their fight was barely an hour long. Piccolo threw everything he had at Nail, despite usually pacing himself to make their fights last longer. It caught Nail off guard, and he had a terrible start to the fight, getting tossed through a tree three separate times. He cursed himself for being careless, for assuming he had Piccolo all sussed out, for getting complacent just because he knew his foe personally. He should have known better. They were fighting _for_ something today, something Piccolo wanted, and with stakes like these Nail should have known Piccolo would pull out all the stops.

Hopefully without actually killing Nail.

Finally, after nearly an hour of being soundly beaten, Nail weakly raised a hand from his position on his back in the dirt. “I concede,” he said, letting his head fall back. Ugh, every part of his body hurt. “You win, as usual, Piccolo.”

Piccolo landed gently on the balls of his feet next to him, standing over Nail with his arms folded. He’d barely taken any blows, though Nail was proud to see he’d at least left Piccolo with a nice shiner. All in all, neither of them had taken any serious damage–nothing a Senzu or trip to Dende couldn’t fix. The main event now, though, would be what Piccolo asked.

“You remember the agreement,” Piccolo said as Nail struggled to sit up. He moved in front of Nail and crouched over his legs, bringing him to Nail’s eye level. “You have to do what I say.”

Nail looked flatly at him. “Of course I remember. It was my idea.” He was regretting it now, though. Considering that if he’d won, he would have made Piccolo do something incredibly embarrassing–like dance for his amusement, or go a whole day being nice to Vegeta–he could only imagine what Piccolo had in store for him. Especially since he’d fought so ferociously. He must have had something very specific in mind if he wanted to win the chance to tell Nail what to do that badly. But Nail would never let it be said he wasn’t a good sport, so he leaned on one hand and smiled at Piccolo. “What is your bidding, oh great and mighty Piccolo?”

“Don’t be an asshole,” Piccolo muttered. Nail just grinned. “Asshole.” Piccolo knelt. “You have to do one thing I say.”

“Yes, I know.” Nail rolled his eyes. He tried to ignore how close Piccolo was to him. It was so weird. Good, but so weird. Piccolo tended to keep his distance, except around the few people he loved, and–

“Kiss me.”

Nail blinked. “Pardon?”

“You heard me.” Piccolo was still staring at him with all his usual determination and intensity. “I won, so you have to do what I want. And I want you to kiss me.”

“B-but–” Nail shook his head. “Why?”

“That’s not really your business, is it?” Piccolo grabbed Nail’s chin and forced him to look at Piccolo. “I’ve got my reasons. Now kiss me.”

Nail bit his lip. It wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ to kiss Piccolo–it was on his mind a lot, actually. But now, faced with actually kissing his longtime crush–he swallowed and nodded. “Okay then. Close your eyes.”

Obediently, Piccolo’s eyes slid shut and he waited expectantly. Nail gently moved forward and touched their foreheads together, letting his antennae slide against Piccolo’s. When Piccolo didn’t move away, he grew bolder, twining their antennae together, sliding up and down and around, kissing him gently. He longed to push further, kiss Piccolo harder and longer, wrap his arms around him and open his mind to him, but he held back. Slowly, he pulled back and opened his eyes, letting go of Piccolo’s antennae and watching them bounce back into place.

Piccolo’s eyes opened and he stared at Nail with wide eyes, a dark blush spreading over his face. “Oh.”

Nail raised a brow. “Oh?”

Piccolo gingerly cupped Nail’s jaw. “Do it again.”

“Hold on,” Nail protested, pushing at Piccolo’s shoulders to try and stall him. “Tell me what this is about.” Piccolo looked away and mumbled something under his breath. “Piccolo.” Nail gripped Piccolo’s shoulders. “Talk to me.”

Piccolo took a breath and looked back at Nail. “You know how I’ve always said I don’t want any relationships that aren’t platonic?” Nail nodded. “I’ve changed my mind.”

Nail’s eyes widened. “So you’re saying–”

“I want to be with you. Romantically, I mean.” Piccolo frowned. “I was having a hard time sorting through my feelings but I think this confirms it.”

“Oh.” It was Nail’s turn for his face to flush. He hadn’t thought it possible that his feelings could be returned, but–

“So?” Piccolo’s thumb awkwardly brushed Nail’s cheek. “Will you do it again?”

Nail was still bruised and bloody. Everything ached. He wanted to go see Dende, or at least sit in warm water. But more than that, he wanted to kiss Piccolo again.

So he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey if you want to help me out [here's a link](https://agirlnameded.tumblr.com/commissions)


End file.
